There are a few things people never forget like the first time they met the love of their life, the birth of their first child and the time they lost their virginity. Well this little blog is about how I lost my virginity and why it was the worst mistake I’ve ever made in my life.
It was a Saturday night and I was home alone, so I do what all lonely men do on a Saturday night: I jerked off and slept like a baby. I was woken up to a call from some lady I’ve just met known as the “Big Yankee Fan”. You see the reason why she is called that is because the night I met her she was in full New York Yankees apparel and yes she was fat as well. I was a little intoxicated, so we danced, talked and eventually exchanged numbers. As I woke up to her friendly voice I decided to see what she wanted. She called to ask me if she wanted to hang out. I mean she did call me at the respectable hour of 4:30 A.M, so how I can say no?
I met her at a street corner like a hooker and when I saw her I was disgusted with what I had seen. She was wearing a full pink velour outfit that made her look like a naked porky pig. She opens the door and just sits there and stares at me. We stared for like two minutes then the first I said was “Do you want to have sex?” she quickly replied “Yes”’. We went to some sleazy hotel and that is where the fun begins.
Now I must admit that I’m a grower and my little buddy in a soft state is pretty small. She didn’t care as she ripped open my pants like wrapping paper on Christmas day and proceeded to satisfy my little buddy, but there was one problem. I couldn’t get an erection. A few hours earlier I satisfied myself and no one can do it better than yours truly. She tried for like five minutes and no avail, so she stopped and laid her back to me. That’s when I started thinking about all the other women I’d rather be sleeping next to at that moment. Over thousands of women came to my mind and that’s when I came up to bat. She saw that I was ready to take a swing and she rode me like a cowboy on a rodeo. Of course I didn’t look at her and all I was thinking about was dead chickens. I don’t know why dead chickens, but I didn’t care I was getting laid. She rode me for like 5 minutes and then all of sudden she jumped off and started shaking. For some reason I asked her if she was okay. I didn’t know it at the time, but she was having an orgasm. She didn’t reply so I took her and decided to pound her till I was done. During the middle of my drilling she told me “to slow down” and of course like an aging running back I lost it. She felt bad and she decided to try and finish me off with her hand. She did. I felt a little bad because I wanted to give her and explosion of my seed and just walk away satisfied.
We went to bathroom to wash off and we were looking at the mirror. As we stared I said to myself “Chris this is one of the biggest mistakes you ever made in your life”. We got dressed and I took her home and after that I never saw her again. To this day I haven’t had sex in fact this incident was my only time. I regret this a lot because I have always vowed to myself that the one I do it with would be very special to me. I’m not embarrassed to tell you that I’ve only had sex once in my 27 years of life. To this day I wish it was zero and I feel in the end I will find the right one to call my first.