This story takes place about three years ago in Brooklyn, New York. It was a late Saturday night and I was around my old neighborhood of Midwood. I decided it was a good time to visit my uncle Richie. He was home and we talked for about an hour. I left because while we were talking he quietly passed out and I realized that I was having a conversation with myself. As I began my drive home to Queens I had a sudden urge to fart. That one fart led me to a small adventure and some weird events.
So I farted while I was driving and that led to a flood in my underwear. This was no ordinary flood because more mudslides wanted to release and ruin my nice pair of underwear. I pulled over and I jumped out of my car to find out that I had no time to think, I must unleash this demon I had in my butthole. I ran to a garbage can and I unleashed my fury. It felt glorious and as I finished, I turned around and I looked at the building I just pooped in front of. It was a Jewish synagogue and the only thing I was thinking was how am I going to clean my butthole? Luckily for me my car is a pig sty and I had some old newspaper to clean my butt with. I threw my underwear and the newspaper in the same garbage I pooped in and I proceeded to drive home. As I was driving I said out loud” What a surprise the garbage man is going to get when he sees the scattered poop”. As I drove away I was soon to find out that this is only the beginning of my weird night.
I only drove up a few blocks from the pooping spot when I encounter a very beautiful woman walking down the street. There was something special about this woman that I really like. Was it her beautiful blonde hair? Was it her nice long legs? Was it her beautiful looks? No to all those questions the thing that I really like about this woman was the fact that she was butt naked. As I stared at the beautiful body I said out loud “Is this my reward for taking a shit in front of a Jewish synagogue?” As she stood on the street corner feeling her on her nice boobs I wonder what should I do? Should I drive up to her and introduce myself? Should I offer her some clothes? As I thought these things a blue van pulled up to her side and took her away. The light turned green and I started my journey home
This was an unexpected two events that made a lackluster night an eventful one. The thing that makes life is that all the best moments are the ones that are random and unexpected.