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THE ART OF AN INSULT

                       

 

     An insult is when a person makes a statement that is meant to

offend someone and hurt their feelings. This is a story of how one

woman’s insult wasn’t funny, but also was a fact.

This happened to yours truly on a Saturday night in the wonderful state known as New Jersey. Some friends and I were eating on the boardwalk when two hideous women walked by us and my friend yelled a simple “Hey do you ladies want to eat with us”. They simply just looked backed at us and just walked away. About 15 minutes later they came back and one of the classy ladies started yelling at us. The woman’s main target was me she stared at me and yelled “You’re a fat piece of shit”.  Now am I supposed to be hurt by such a comment? Here is the answer to that question “NO”.  She is right I am fat and I know it, so what did I do? I simply looked at her and smiled.  I’m a 6’1 270lb Puerto Rican who is well built for his height.  This is me and I know it, but now it is my turn to insult this thing of a woman. You see, she was a very ugly chick. She said to me “Cupid came and kissed my fat ass”. She slapped her ass and I quickly replied “Yes he did, but he would never kiss your face”. Now of course this beast of a woman started to get louder and nastier, but she didn’t realize two things.

  1.    She was ugly as fuck
  2.    My joke was very funny

If she realized these two things she would of just looked at me, laughed, and walked away with her friend.  Now to be honest I truly wished I insulted her more with some of my unique comebacks to this lady’s stupid act. I would of course use jokes like

  1.       You are so ugly that Mexican men won’t even fuck you.
  2.       If you were a 12 year old boy a priest wouldn’t suck your dick.
  3.      If you were a young black female R.Kelly wouldn’t pee in your face.

See these things are funny and hurtful. A fact that is mixed with a little bit of fiction makes an insult funny and unique.

My reaction to her insult was a smile and a witty comeback, while her reaction to my insult was with more words that made no sense. The laughter from the people who heard the great joke made me victorious. This lesson in funny was brought to by a New Jersey skank and a 6’1 fat Puerto Rican guy.

 

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