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Below you'll find the many channels dedicated to what we do best. Whether it's emailing a random company about their products,
 pestering the local females,
 or ranting about almost anything you will
soon find that you're visiting this site more often than is deemed healthy for a normal human being.   

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SAT Prep

       Earlier this year, my friend Keith was dating a girl who attended the Catholic High School of Baltimore (I'm sure you can guess her age). Things didn't turn out so well for them, as her maturity level was well, one of a high school girl's. So, being the friend that I am, I took it upon myself to write her an email and have Keith send it to her through his Myspace. She didn't respond unfortunately, which puzzles me. I can't fathom how someone wouldn't respond to this. Maybe she couldn't understand the vocabulary. In that case, good I hope you bombed your SAT.

 

 

Lauren,

     I took it upon myself to write this, without any instruction from Keith whatsoever. Let me begin by introducing myself, I’m Frank, one of Keith’s longtime friends. Over the past couple months, I was told endlessly about the how great you are and how much he cares about you. I must admit I was skeptical at first, only for his sake though, as you may know its impossible to trust women nowadays.

     Something was different about you though, a girl at the height of her puberty couldn’t possibly be as untrustworthy or perfidious as some of the women I’ve encountered in the past. Things seemed to be going well for you two. When we spoke on the phone you gave the impression as if you were a sweet girl, even if it was 5am and you had just woken up. I figured things would go well. Alas, I was sadly mistaken.

     Now I know your a growing girl and the world must seem like a terrifying place to someone in your shoes. Let me digress to a time where I was just getting out of puberty, many things used to bother me. I used to always get these funny feelings in the pit of my stomach when I was around the opposite sex, I was consistently worried about when my favorite cartoons were airing; things like that. This is obviously the reason for your indecisiveness.

     I’ve been in a similar situation before and on both ends of the relationship. On one side I was devastatingly hurt by a female. On the other side however, I was too busy hanging out at the mall and working part time at burger king to fully grasp the degree of maturity it entails to have a healthy relationship. This is apparently an issue that has to be discussed.

     It is my understanding, that you haven’t spoken to Keith for some time now. I have this suspicion that the reason behind this is that your suffering from an anti-social disorder. It is also my suspicion that you know this and are avoiding any caring person that may be in your life, Keith being one of those aforementioned caring people. I know a few people in my profession, who have the same problem and let me assure you that getting professional help is the answer. There are therapists out

there with an ardent desire to help you out. It is for your own good. I hope I could help.

                                                                            Your Friend always,

                                                                                               Frank

P.S. I hope the big words didn’t scare you off, besides shouldn’t you be studying for your SATs?

P.P.S Feel free to email me back

 

Social Networking is Finally Good For Something....




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