Welcome to Cooz and the Gang!

Below you'll find the many channels dedicated to what we do best. Whether it's emailing a random company about their products,
 pestering the local females,
 or ranting about almost anything you will
soon find that you're visiting this site more often than is deemed healthy for a normal human being.   

                              Fun With the KGB


     So my friends and I were at our local neighborhood bar and grill when a question came up about the sex boat scandal that some of the Minnesota Vikings were involved in a couple years ago. Of course we all couldn't agree on an answer so my friend John brings up a text message service called KGB. He explains to us that the KGB is a service that when you text a question to the number 542-542 they respond with the correct answer for a buck. Now you're probably saying "why not just google it?" Well we were drunk watching football, why interrupt that with random shenanigans?

     So they answered our boat sex scandal question almost immediately and being the idiotic drunks that we are, probably all thought the same exact thing right then and there: "Lets text them the most ridiculous questions we can possibly think of." So from that night I have a selection of those texts that I feel like sharing with the world. Besides, we did pay a buck for each answer, so we have to get our moneys worth. 

     The person who is sitting there googling the answers had to be either dying laughing or incredibly pissed at some of our questions. I hope it was the latter.


 Editors note: We've texted them so many times recently that they've actually stopped answering us!


Q. Is coozandthegang.com the funniest websites you've ever seen? 
A. No. Metacafe.com is one of the top rated funniest sites on the web. Stupidvideos.com is another

one. kgb_ team 

(both of those sites suck by the way)

Q. What did you think of it? 
A. Yes. It is one of the funniest sites on the web. However, you may also try oddee.com. kgb_ team 

Q. I have a dilemma. Should I hook up with the blonde with fake tits or the brunette with the really nice ass? They are both strippers. What do I do? 
A. Go with whichever you are most attracted to, and who has the best personality. kgb_ team 

Q. This brunette is allergic to latex. I have no sheepskin condoms. What will happen if I surreptiously use a latex condom? 
A. Not medical advice. The protein in latex can cause an allergic reaction. This reaction can cause anaphylactic shock,which requires immediate medical attention. 

Q. can a woman get pregnaunt if she swallows my seaman? 
A. Not Med Advice: No, a woman can't get pregnant from swallowing semen. Only from vaginal

intercourse! kgb_ team 

Q. Who has the bigger penis me or John? 
A. We can't tell you who's is bigger but we can tell you the average penis size is 5.8 inches! 


Q. if i had a choice between shooting heroine or coccaine what would you suggest 
A. kgb_ always wants to impress you, but chooses not to answer questions like this. Sorry. No

charge. kgb_ team 

Q. if I could only save my son or my daughter who do i save?

A. kgb_ always wants to impress you, but chooses not to answer questions like this. Sorry. No

charge. kgb_ team


Q. How do I set up a sex boat excursion just like Minnesota Vikings?

A. kgb_ always wants to impress you, but chooses not to answer questions like this. Sorry. No

 charge. kgb_ team

Q. That's upsetting Looks like my vacation is cancelled :'(

A. That's sad to hear. However, there are many ways you can enjoy even if not in a vacation. kgb_


Q. How do I convince my 8 year old son Jervis to get a sex change operation? Should I use candy or something more appealing?


A. Not medical advice: An 8 year old would not be able to get a sex change operation. No ethical doctor would allow it to happen. kgb_ team

Q. My friend Bobby tells me there are instances where rape is considered legal. When is this true?

A. This never was answered


Q. I'm in the middle of a bank robbery and the hostages aren't taking me seriously. Who do I kill first? I was thinking a small child to get my message across. Hurry up with an answer I cant hold the cops off any longer

A. This surprisingly went unanswered as well.



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