Welcome to Cooz and the Gang!

Below you'll find the many channels dedicated to what we do best. Whether it's emailing a random company about their products,
 pestering the local females,
 or ranting about almost anything you will
soon find that you're visiting this site more often than is deemed healthy for a normal human being.   

                            Storm the Castle!!

      As you all may know, my absolute favorite fast food franchise in the world is none other than White Castle. What's not love about white castle? They may have a slight reputation for their effects on the excretory system, but it is well worth the pain. The burgers are awesome, they hardly ever close, and it's the only place where I can order so much food that they have to hand it to me in a suitcase.

      So it was an absolute no-brainer that I had to email White Castle (or Chateau Blanche as I like to call it). One may ask himself, what is the best way to contact a restaurant whose facade resembles a majestic medieval castle complete with everything but a moat. The answer is simple: You write to them in Olde English. 



Thy Majesty,

         How fare Ye? I durst beseech thou aide. Upon feasting on thy burgers of cow meat, my loins became quite weary. Verily, it is so. My gut trembles like the mightiest of quakes! The valleys and dales echo with the sound of my most unpleasant flatulence.

      I have implored the gods for good health, but alas it was for naught. Dost thou hear my plea? Prithee, noble king, bequeath unto me an elixir of well-being; so I may lay with my maiden without flatulent disturbance.

      I durst not insult thy king but thy meat is putrid. Whilst thou send aide? Or dost thou durst to chafe the willow of his quill?

                                                                                   Fare thee well my liege,

                                                                                              Frank of York




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